ONE DAY IS NOT A DAY ON THE CALENDAR

Every season brings with it a hope of new possibilities. I find myself reflecting on it more in-depth now that life has got me the opportunity to have my mom back living with my husband and me. She left for Connecticut ten years ago and lived by herself until now. At 83 years old, it was time for her to come back.

She could do life by herself the way she had things set up, but a situation made her feel alone in that city. The truth is that everything would have worked out in the end, but God has a way to move things just the way he wants them to be. She walks slow and loses her breath as she does. It pains me, but I encourage her to continue while offering my arm for balance.

We go shopping like we used to but not at the same speed of course. Inside me, there is sadness, and I can’t help to notice the decline. When she sits to eat, I watch her and get teary eyes. She can’t see me, and I will not make her sad telling her. She doesn’t look her age; my mom has always been gorgeous. I love the way she put herself together before we go out. I open the door, and she gets in the car with difficulty but excited to go for a ride.

We wish we could go back to Puerto Rico to visit one day, but I’m not sure anymore. There are things that I wanted to do with her one day when life was not so busy without realizing that she was growing older and weaker. One day it’s a time in your imagination.

It does exist. It’s a hope and an excuse for procrastinating the essential things we all take for granted. My mom’s and I’s one-day plans have to happen every day, or it may never be but an unfulfilled wish. Cherish your parents and make the best time you have them with you or “one day” you will regret it.

TAKE CARE OF NUMBER ONE

I have experienced some situations lately that have once again rocked my world. I can’t find a reason for other’s behavior. Couldn’t it be life pressures? Upbringing? I want to find excuses for them. I know that the enemy is at work when God is not the center. Some people fall prey due to their lack of God’s wisdom. This is my way of thinking; I believe moving on and let them be is the best option. I must resort to protection mode.

The Bible says that when you have done everything you are supposed to do, you stand. I’m standing on the Word of God. It says everything works for the good of those who love Him and walk according to His purpose. What is His goal? For us to show love, mercy, and compassion.

Only then can we talk to our neighbors about Eternal Life. Can someone hungry listen while you preach them the good news of salvation? No! Feed the hungry, clothe the naked. Meet the needs of the ones around you. You may not reach all, but you will help some. In doing these things, you will find His peace. There is no peace like the one that comes from God.

You know that He is working on your behalf; while you are waiting, this truth brings with it HOPE. That’s the thing you cling to while things turn around. I experienced this before. He never disappoints. Take care and protect yourself from physical and emotional harm.

You should be your number one. In no way can you help anyone if your mind is unrested. Remember, His Word is accurate. He is not a man who can lie or the son of a man who can change His mind. What He said will come to pass. Who can say Amen?

I’m listening Lord!

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Have you experienced the “IN-Between”

Looking around nature, I notice the changes about to conclude. Some trees and shrubs are changing into fall colors but not quite. The flower garden is only giving us half of its beautiful summer flowers. The Hummingbird feeders are almost empty. I found some figs rotten and some were perfectly ripe.

I haven’t seen any hummingbirds around. Are they here or halfway to their winter refuge in South or Central America? The grass is still green, but there is no need to cut it weekly. All the changes that come with the new season are in between, in transition, almost completed.

Have you experienced in “Between” situations at any time? Some of us are in between life-altering decisions, moving to a new house for the third time, a new job, a whole new career.

Is that we make decisions as we grow older and go into the different seasons of life as we see fit. After twenty-two years selling homes to awesome and grateful clients, I will like to work solely from home, not a realistic move at the moment. I stay extremely busy with my clients, and I don’t have time to study.

I’m in the singular position of attracting new and existing clients for the mere fact that I speak Spanish. I don’t suffer for lack of repeat clients or referrals. But inside me is the younger me who was raising kids with no time to herself.

I’m back at wanting to have time for myself; the kids are married, with children. I can speed the process if I wish to, but I’m not confident it will be the best way to go about it. How have you ever found yourself in this position? Some of us want it all. Nothing wrong with that. It takes a little planning and lots of strategies.

In the meantime, I fill the free time with activities I like and trips to the lake house. My mom is getting much older and is coming to live with me. I hope to create new memories with her. All things will work out for the best eventually. God said it, and I believe it.

This “in between” is part of life, and I will do my best to enjoy it and learn a new thing or two before I make my final decision. I’m in-between seasons, but for today, I’m enjoying the cool breeze of Autumn while waiting for the cold days of Winter.

Perhaps all I need is to do as the beautiful Hummingbirds who migrate to warm temperatures “In-Between” seasons.

Life is all about the messy bits

I find myself reflecting on life’s shortcomings. Many people, like me, have a dream of a perfect family relationship, excellent work, and a great church environment. Ideals that are only living in the mind of a dreamer. Life, on the other hand, is a series of ups and downs.

It took me a long time to realize that it would never be a consistent as I wanted. I can thank my husband for pointing it out many times before I accepted. I am a fixer. I like situations to work out for the best. Not being able to reach a mutual understanding caused me a lot of anxiety.

I can talk things through, expose my reasons and accept defeat when proven wrong. That’s not the case for other people. As a Real Estate Agent, I have learned to prove my points by showing my clients proof of my assessments and recommendations. I want not only to tell people what but also why.

Relationships are a lot of work and will not grow unless everyone makes an effort. I’m growing older, and lately, I have given up on having perfect relationships. It is what it is; life is full of conflicts you can’t solve. The messy bits in between the good times add flavor to an otherwise stagnant and boring life.

The messy bits also allow you to learn about yourself and grow in knowledge and lots of patience. I have learned so much about myself in the last few years, just letting the dark times of life be what they are: a time to reflect on the reasons behind the situations and accepting that some will never be better. We all see things in different lights; let others’ light shine through as well.

Our dreams are not everyone’s dreams, and finally, to each their own. Oh, how liberating it is to allow everyone to do as they want, need, or desire just because they are entitled to do as they feel. Letting them go through the process will allow them to better prepare for life.

You can’t help everyone, and some will not let you anyway, no matter how much experience you have. I have learned to embrace the messy bits and wait patiently for the glorious light that comes after the teaching moments.

Te Amo Mi Amor

Hoy no esperabas la dulzura de estas palabras que son más lindas cuando se dicen con convicción. Resuenan como el repique de campanas alegres.

Esas hermosas palabras engalanan tu día que comenzó con el augurio de ser sombrío. Han sido dichas sin mayor provocación lo que cala hasta lo más recóndito de tu corazón.

No son dichas a la ligera si tocan lo profundo de tus entrañas. Te amo mi amor es tan vigorizante como el café de media tarde.

Aquel que quisieras tomarte en la compañía del ser más amable y más hermoso que te robó desde hace mucho tiempo tu corazón. ❤️

The Little Red Car

In front of me, every time I sit down to write is a little red car that no one will ever drive. No other possession bigger or smaller warms my heart more than thinking about how the little car traveled home in my leather purse.

He gave me the little red car, maybe in the hope of seeing it again when he comes to visit grandma. We spent that day playing and laughing hard.

He is only eight, but he likes to challenge me by playing games or racing around in the yard. His beautiful eyes look at me with unconditional love. He is pure and innocent.

It warms my heart to know he feels so comfortable when I grab him in my arms. He always fights to get out of my embrace just because he is playful and full of energy.

I’m not sure why he keeps giving me toys to take home. Could it be a bond of collaboration or preparation for the days he comes over and stays?

I may not know the reason, but I’m sure of one thing, he loves to sit very close to “Abuela” so she can watch him play his video games. I love him so much; it’s so hard to explain the bond between us that is even stronger than the bond of blood.

I enjoy these moments when we can be together. Even when my grandson grows older, for me, he will always be the sweet little kid the Lord sends us to Love.

I’m strong despite living with Anxiety

Social Media can be a devastating destination for many who will encounter the wrong information. Sinister “friends,” or aggressive and opinionated people can cause your more headache than you need. Everyone has a view on life. The experiences you encounter while growing up, your influencers, and acquaintances help you develop the glass color lens to see the world. Since I was young, I had a strong opinion about many things. I probably didn’t have a firm conviction; what was important is that I thought I was right. Wow! Was I ever so wrong?

I had no issues expressing myself; my opinions always found a way to escape my young and immature mind to whoever wanted to hear. This quality of mine made me unpopular. I didn’t realize how wrong I was until recently. I was wrong not on all my views but in wanting people to see things my way. We all validate what we know as we see fit.

We all have a personal agenda. We may be seeking profit, an influential platform, or just for the simple fact that we want to be correct. Whichever your motive, it should never be a standard to enter in your circle. I realize through social media how animate we are about proving others wrong. It’s okay. Even the internet opinionated people are part of the life process.

We are in the sharing information era through multiple platforms. Today I found a post that had nothing to do with promoting any position about life. This post was about living life with anxiety. I guess the internet is also a way to cry aloud in the hope of sympathy or support. Nothing wrong with needing a word of affirmation. Good comments in a time of crisis could help more than we will ever know.

This person is my client, and although I wanted to say something about how I have lived with anxiety and panic since I was very young, I didn’t! See, I’m older now, and after realizing how part of my anxiety has to do with rejection, I opted to stay away from the subject. I don’t want some ill-intentioned person to say something to hurt me directly.

Nevertheless, here is this post in case it reaches someone, somewhere, someday. I live with anxiety every day of my life since I can remember. I used to pass out every time the nurse draw blood or the dentist injected the anesthesia. I pass out because I didn’t want the food at the public school or because I have a prolonged stomachache. As an adult, I can ride with someone in the car; I must drive. I still have anxiety when I go, but it is easier for me to cope.

Many years ago, I hated to fly, but I did. I never thought about cruising, but I just came from my fourteen cruises, and I will go back in December. I forced myself to succeed in business and my personal life. I understand now that I was probably too opinionated, too strong on my views, altogether too strong, but that strength has carried me here. Being assertive is not wrong. Allocating your strong opinions, whether you are right or not, without wisdom is.

I’m now quieter, more a thinker. I live my life and see the world from a different color lens. I hope I’m not late to mend the fences I took down along the way. I didn’t mean to prevail; I thought I was right and wanted to help. I wanted to be a part of your life and see you move forward. Despite my flaws, I wanted to see you soar. I’m sorry!

Dad & Mom, Thank You!

I’m not sure why these thoughts and many memories come to mind at the shortest provocation. I find myself at the pool, lounging on a chair. The sun is out, 88°, the wind is calming.

This setting makes me sleepy and reminds me of a time long ago when I was only 17 and expecting my first child. I had a complicated pregnancy that could have turned—very wrong.

My husband and I have been at the Sheraton Hotel in Miami since yesterday. Tomorrow we’ll sail on a cruise to the Bahamas.

Tropical storm Ida may develop into a hurricane. It’s heading to the panhandle; we may only get some rain and uncomfortable wind, “at least for my taste.” I’m a little worried nevertheless.

I decided to come outside to relax because being out always provides me comfort. I enjoy the scenery; the hotel is almost empty.

My husband asked why I decided to be outside instead of inside with an air-conditioned room. That brought me to the memories of the Hammock under the trees, in front of the house back in Puerto Rico.

My parents would hang a sheet over the hammock to shelter me from the sun. It wasn’t suitable for a pregnant lady, they claimed. I had the best support and unconditional love.

They may be the reason why my two-pound baby is a man today with kids on his own. I’m forever grateful, and although Dad is gone, he will forever be in my heart where I also keep my Mom.

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No estoy segura de por qué estos pensamientos y muchos recuerdos me vienen a la mente a la menor provocación. Me encuentro en la piscina, descansando en una silla. Ha salido el sol, 88 °, el viento está calmando.

Este entorno me da sueño y me recuerda a un tiempo atrás, cuando solo tenía 17 años y estaba esperando mi primer hijo. Tuve un embarazo complicado que podría haber salido muy mal.

Mi esposo y yo hemos estado en el Hotel Sheraton en Miami desde ayer. Mañana navegaremos en un crucero a las Bahamas.

La tormenta tropical Ida puede convertirse en huracán. Se dirige al panhandle; es posible que solo llueva un poco y un viento incómodo, “al menos para mi gusto”. Sin embargo, estoy un poco preocupada

Decidí salir a la piscina para relajarme porque estar fuera siempre me da comodidad. Disfruto del paisaje; el hotel está casi vacío.

Mi esposo me preguntó por qué decidí estar afuera en lugar de adentro en la habitación con aire acondicionado. Eso me trajo a los recuerdos de la Hamaca bajo los árboles, frente a la casa en Puerto Rico.

Mis padres colgaban una sábana sobre la hamaca para protegerme del sol. No era adecuado para una mujer embarazada, sostenían. Tuve el mejor apoyo y cariño incondicional.

Pueden ser la razón por la que mi bebé de dos libras es hoy un hombre con hijos propios. Siempre estaré agradecida, y aunque papi se haya ido, él estará para siempre en mi corazón, donde también guardo a mi mamá.

Nevertheless


It goes against all reasons, standards, and logic; nevertheless, our heart rises at the thought of it.

It’s impossible; it will not last; it’s just a dream on a vivid imagination. Nevertheless, it is what our heart desires.

It’s too far, too complicated, too unknown to our little sense of adventure. Nevertheless, we travel with our thoughts to distant places away from our comfort, if only in the night dreams.

We waited for the time to be right; wars and rumors of wars spread quickly; nevertheless, we bargain with the Lord to open the doors.

The doors didn’t open, and it was so long ago; nevertheless, we can’t give up. It feels closer than over a decade ago.

We struggle with giving up, and we tried, we fail, we talk, reason against it, but nevertheless something inside us doesn’t let us give up HOPE!