Holding back is a vicious cycle

If maturity had come earlier, we all would have spoken our hearts sooner than later. We were shy, too insecure, or afraid of a dismissive reaction. We should have told someone, thank you, I love you, or I need you before it was too late. Instead, we grow older with those feelings hidden in our minds. I often think about what my unspoken words would have changed.

Maybe someone was waiting to know how I felt before taking a step closer. It is common in family dynamics. Everyone is guarding the heart against unnecessary pain, especially when we are young and don’t know how to open up about these matters of the heart. So many years lost is a tragedy.

We suppose we are the only ones afraid. I know that is not the case. I hope, is not too late for this message to reach someone in need of encouragement, no matter the age. Those lost opportunities prick our minds like a knife in the heart. No more chances are near or far.
Those we once loved then are not here, maybe, not even alive.

Lost opportunities to extend feelings we buried inside, worried about a cynical reaction. We live wondering if they ever knew how we feel. I know in my case, I feared rejection. Perhaps that’s why I always walked with a stern face, looking more secure than I am.

Maybe I gave them reasons to keep me at a distance. That was far from my desire. And so, it is that everyone has a misconception of the truth that only resides in you. I believe that’s why these types of writings are my favorite.

I’m trying to send a message to the Universe in the hope it reaches some corners of the world, or even the heaven where I know are some of those I miss and love dearly. Even if I never told them.

CLEAN SLATE

While painting this picture yesterday, I had some challenges that made me reflect on a few things. I believe that I was trying to copy the inspiration painting to perfection. I wanted the same details, a similar distance between the trees and the water. I also wanted to add a landmass to place the cabin and a campfire in the woods. Well, the campfire did not fit! That is when I started thinking about this subject.

We should not attempt to copy the life of others step by step. Life does not work like that. We have our sphere of influence, reach, and space to occupy. Our lives are not like any others. Recognize, be happy for others, and strive to do as good as your potential allows you.

Don’t hesitate to push yourselves to explore and develop your unique talents beyond your mental limitations. Prepare for mistakes along the way. Do not get discouraged. You can always regroup and start the process all over again to find the desired success.

I painted too much landmass in this painting. It required me to wipe half of it with soap and water. I also use acetone to get rid of the impurities left behind by the darker colors. Sometimes you are trapped, and the mistakes you made in your life are hard to remediate. Just like in this painting.

Do not lose heart. Remember that over two thousand years ago, someone paid the ultimate price for you to have hope. There is nothing or no one else that can give you a clean slate to start from afresh. Forgive yourself and anyone that crossed your path and hurt your heart.

That is the best medicine to get your soul ready as a new canvas. Be in the best position to paint a pretty picture of your desires and watch them become a reality.

Happy life and happy painting.

El dolor que produce frutos

Cuando el dolor no cambia la pureza de tu corazón produce resultados extraordinarios. El dolor es como el buen fertilizante. Él cuenta con el balance de vitaminas y minerales necesarios para producir frutos aun cuando plantas en tierras áridas.

Quizás la cosecha no llegue en la primavera ni tampoco en el otoño, pero con suerte llegará en el invierno cuando nadie la espera.

El dolor que guarda dentro de sí el amor a la posibilidad de una reconciliación cambia el corazón ajeno. No dejes de regarlo o sacar las yerbas que crecen alrededor. Ellas quieren ahogar la cosecha que ya está por germinar.

Saca los abrojos con cuidado no sea que con ellos lastimes lo lindo de aquello que has plantado. Regocíjate cuando veas la semilla brotar, ella mira hacia arriba de dónde proviene la vida. Alza tus ojos a la misma dirección y dale gracias al creador que restauró y una vez más unió en amor a tu linda familia.

Es que todo aquel que espera tendrá su recompensa. Enhorabuena, llegarán las alegrías para enjugar tus lágrimas. Obtendrás la recompensa que un día esperaste con calma.

Porque todo tiene un tiempo debajo del sol. Y todo en su tiempo el Señor lo hace perfecto.

Stop the excuses…Keep your standards high

There is no doubt. It has been a complicated year all around. Although not in Real Estate sales. This year we already surpassed last year’s income. We are grateful for it. Service to our clients has not been an issue. My husband and I use the mask, and we keep the required distance from our clients. We protect them and ourselves. It is feasible to be safe; our clients do not want to be exposed either.

We have some unique stories. Before the world closed, we went to a national Real Estate conference from our company. It was amazing. We stayed at a hotel within walking distance. No mask, no worries. We came home to find out two vendors contracted the virus. We were not in any classes and only stayed at the vendor fair for a short time. We did our own thing exploring the city and eating at great restaurants nearby. Just before the airports started having restrictions, our buyers, a young military couple, came to town. They founded only one house they liked. We told them to have lunch while we got ready. We planned to meet them at the office later to discuss and sign the offer. We went to the office, but they never showed up to discuss or sign. I got a call from them. We left, they said. They are about to restrict military traveling, and we have to go, they explained. I am happy we got the house under contract. They closed on their beautiful home a month later. We talked on the phone, and they signed the documents electronically.

Working has not been a problem, as you see. It has been challenging to help my mother make payments on her accounts. She is in another state, and all she got when she tried to call these agencies was an automated service. It is confusing for my mother. She couldn’t follow along. During this pandemic, she had two-foot surgeries, and I could not travel to assist her. Traveling to the state she lives in was prohibited at the time. Recently a helper infected her with covid, and she was in the hospital for a week. It was hard for us. She did not get very sick. The tests, the blood samples, and the noise in the room were unbearable, she told us. They use special equipment to suction the air to the outside, and it was loud. She had a terrible time. The treatment for COVID-19 was very painful. She is 82 years old and was very scared. Speaking with other colleagues had been challenging at times. It seems that we have more time but are less responsive to communicate. You can only text so much. It is crucial to discuss important issues over a conversation.

Feels, like some, had taken a license to mediocrity. These serve no one, no their clients, and most of all, my clients. It is a must to be ethical and hold our standards high. During a crisis where our clients need to have a secure shelter in place is especially important. Our homes are our haven. It is where we feel secure during these unprecedented times. Keep the good work. Our first responders are serving with excellence. We, Realtors, should strive to do the same. End of ranting. Sometimes you need to let frustration run wild. We all need a way of decompressing.

Just Like Peeling an Onion

I used to consider myself unartistic. I admired people who can draw and play instruments. I just never counted crocheting, needlework, or another thing I did as art. They are under the craft category; I understand, but you must have artistic nature to make things look beautiful.

A friend introduced me to painting. Now I am hooked ;).  It is probably all that needlework I already knew. It is as simple as peeling an onion. Sometimes your eyes will tear up with frustration. Just like in life when you are inexperienced and navigates the turbulent waters of school, sports, or how to be in love. It takes work and some preparation. Only with continued efforts and discipline, you can find the confidence required to create a masterpiece.

Soon you will be looking at colorful landscapes symbolizing your memories and your taste. It makes you tired, yet satisfied. It will change your mood and even your self-esteem. It takes courage to paint and share with others your work, yet you will notice how an emotional connection with your viewers will flourish out of it. Colors make everything happier. People will admire an abstract or realistic painting as they feel.

You cannot pretend to walk before you can crawl and much less run. Your little legs must develop the calves to support the weight of your body. The same way your hands must learn the strokes. It is not impossible! Painting can be taught, unlike having to be born with a gene to playing an instrument. Find the inspiration through any venue you have available. After you have the inspiration, start preparing. 

Feel it in your heart first. Then you will be able to sketch it on the canvas. Dig into your inner soul and let the power of storytelling inspire you. It will not be perfect at first, just like when you ride a bicycle or have the first crush. You will remember the mistakes you made choosing the colors, the type of canvas, or the brush. Muscle memory will help you to be selective and avoid mistakes.

Apply these principles to your life. Do not be too hard on yourself. It is a process you must enjoy if you want the perfect end.

¿ERES UN FRANCOTIRADOR?

  1. Un francotirador tiene una variedad de definiciones: Una persona honesta y franca.
  2. (Idiomático) Una persona que es franca, a veces hasta el punto de ser dura u ofensiva.
  3. (Drogas recreativas e informales) Un tipo de pipa que se usa para fumar cocaína.

Dejando la última definición fuera, voy directamente al punto que quiero exponer este hermoso día de otoño. Así es como me gusta. Mi estilo es ser directa cuando estoy en una conversación con clientes, familiares y amigos.

Nunca entendí por qué la gente se abstiene de decir la verdad. Siempre pensé en mí como una persona sincera, hasta que un día alguien me llamó “contundente”. No recuerdo haber sido ofensiva con esa compañera de trabajo.

Yo era su gerente, era mi responsabilidad asegurarme de que todo marchara en orden. Le señalé su falta de interés y compromiso para realizar la parte del trabajo que le correspondía. En ningún momento quise ser ofensiva.

Estar a la defensiva es la táctica que usamos cuando no queremos admitir nuestro error. Admito tener poca tolerancia con la irresponsabilidad y la pereza. Solo se puede usar un manojo de excusas para desempeñarse probremente en el trabajo.

He estado física y emocionalmente indispuesta pero siempre he intentado dar lo mejor de mí, incluso cuando respirar por la mañana era un lujo en algún momento. Sufría de hiperventilación todas las madrugadas al abrir mis ojos. No podía hacer las tareas normales de un ama de casa o ser la madre que necesitaban mis hijos después de que mi padre murió y tuve una crisis emocional durante un año.

Pesando menos de cien libras y sin poder entender la vida debido a la tristeza, vivir se volvió difícil por un tiempo. Lo soporté sin medicamentos, pero nunca perdí la esperanza. Oraba todas las mañanas mientras arrancaba el pasto que crecía junto a las flores del jardín. Pedía la misericordia de Dios para mí y mis hijos mientras lo hacía.

Esto es bastante personal, pero nunca he tenido problemas para hablar sobre mis sentimientos y experiencias de vida. Es algo que me resulta fácil. No dudo en abrirme sobre temas que otros consideran “tabú”. Pienso que con ello puedo dar esperanza a alguien que esté pasando por una situación similar. ¡Por supuesto, no les contaré TODO!

En la vida y los negocios explico los pros y los contras de cualquier situación. Si eliges el camino de endulzar la verdad, los resultados finales serán amargos y te darán dolores de cabeza. Mis clientes escucharán mis opiniones y recomendaciones sinceras cuando las solicitan. Si no le es conveniente comprar o vender se los dejo saber inmediatamente.

La última decisión es su prerrogativa y eso está bien. Es su inversión a la que llamarán hogar hasta que llegue el momento de venderla. ¿Entiendes el punto? Esa es la razón por la que es importante que les expliques bien los detalles importantes cuando los clientes están comprando o tendrás problemas y falta de excusas cuando estés obteniendo el listado para vender la casa que ahora aparte de ser su hogar es una inversión a la que le quieren sacar la mayor ganancia posible.

Mi trabajo es más que un medio donde pongo comida en la mesa. Es un servicio a la comunidad que me honra con su confianza. Mis clientes suelen convertirse en amistades que han durado muchísmos años, aún cuando han dejado la ciudad que es mayormente militar.

Puede que tu franqueza no te haga popular, pero te ganará el respeto, la confianza y las recomendaciones de tus clientes con sus amigos personales. Así es como construyes tu negocio y duermes sin remordimientos.

No me des consejos

Te recuerdo con mucho cariño abuelito.

Todavía recuerdo cuanto me molestaba que me dieran consejos cuando era apenas una muchacha con muchas ganas, pero falta de conocimientos. No era ignorancia más bien prudencia que no ejercía cuando tomaba decisiones fuera del tiempo propicio. Tampoco era osadía porque a nadie le llevaba la contraria, más bien no preguntaba porque no me gustaba seguir ideas que no eran las mías.

Alguna vez recuerdo a mi abuelo querer exponer sus puntos para que yo los siguiera, pero los rechacé antes de que los terminara por concreto. Cuanto lo siento ahora mi querido abuelo. Me dejaron por incorregible y aunque batallé nunca me quedé sin empuje y ganas de sobresalir en lo que me propuse. Dice el refrán que nadie escarmienta por cabeza ajena.

Cada uno debe vivir sus propias penas y obtener sus propias victorias después de pasar dolores de cabeza. Lo bueno es que ahora no puedo decir que me equivoqué por culpa de malas recomendaciones. Tomé decisiones y sufrí en el camino, pero esas acciones me llevaron hasta este suelo donde ahora vivo. Estudié en la Universidad de mí país, Puerto Rico, y viví ricas experiencias. Aprendí a desenvolverme en la sociedad y a desarrollar ideas que me han guiado hasta este día.

Por esta forma de ser me arriesgué a entrar en la profesión que ejerzo por más de veinte años sin apenas hablar el idioma. Podía entenderlo mejor si era por escrito. Antes de comenzar en Bienes Raíces recuerdo que redacté mi resumé en inglés. Una amiga y compañera de trabajo me dijo que no estaba bien. ¿Qué le debo arreglar?, le pregunté. Pero ella no me supo contestar. Yo envié la aplicación junto con aquel pobre resumé que quizá fue tirado a la basura. Quería entrar a trabajar en el periódico local, sí, en el pueblo donde vivo con el idioma que todavía no domino por completo.

Valentía y sueños jamás han estado escasos en mi cabeza llena de ideas. Yo no nací para trabajar en ventas “retail” al por menor para una compañía y eso lo sabía muy bien. Me acaba de decir mi esposo este día que no me gustan las estructuras y me parece que tiene toda la razón. Yo pensaba que no me gustaban los compromisos y por eso detestaba horarios de trabajo fijos. Creo que hasta ahora entiendo mi forma de actuar. Tanto es así que contando con clientela mayormente hispana las citas de trabajos las hago sabiendo que probablemente ellos llegarán tarde. Yo he aprendido a ser muy responsable con mis negocios, pero conozco de dónde vienen mis clientes y los entiendo muy bien.

Bueno al tema, no obteniendo el trabajo en el periódico me fui de vacaciones de esa compañía y jamás volví. Al poco tiempo abrí mi propio negocio donde vendía de todo un poco, ahí tampoco duré mucho porque tenía la mirada puesta en algo más provechoso. Mis metas eran más grandes que las habilidades que en ese momento poseía. Por azares del destino mediante una compra y venta de un vehículo de recreación conocí a mi primer bróker. Su esposa al conocerme me invitó rápidamente a ser parte de su compañía.

Comencé con las clases y estudié sabiendo que tenía una desventaja. Jamás fallé en algún examen, ni aún en los exámenes del estado para obtener licencia de “Affiliate Broker”. Es la licencia para vender bajo una compañía independiente. Lloré aquel día cuando me dijeron que pasé las dos partes de las que consistía el largo y complicado examen de opciones múltiples. Unos años después obtuve mi licencia como Bróker (con esa licencia puedo abrir mi propia compañía), pero no lo haré porque luego no me sobraría tiempo para contarles estas historias. Ese examen lo tomé de noche y no le dije a nadie que lo tomaría en caso de que no lo pasara.

Creo que el deseo de sobresalir se ve reflejado en no dejarle ver a otros que he fallado en algún proyecto, espero que no sea baja estima ni mucho menos orgullo. Puedo testificar que querer es poder y que no debes ponerles límites a tus sueños. Veintiún años después he sido reconocida como una hispana sobresaliente en el pueblo donde vivo junto a mi esposo, mis lindos hijos y nietos a quienes adoro.

Es muy gracioso ver ahora mi carácter en mis hijos. Quisiera ahorrarles el trabajo que yo pasé, pero a ellos tampoco les parece recibir consejos ajenos. Piensan quizás que mi época pasó, probablemente eso fue lo que pensé yo cuando no quise escuchar a mi abuelo.

TIME, TRAITOR OF UNFULFILLED DREAMS

Children want to be teenagers. Teenagers want to be adults. How do we finish understanding such desires?

Our present is a gift we do not value as such. In winter, we will miss the bright sunny days of Summer and, in the Summer, we will miss the snow. I will miss this moment too.

Just like that, we see time passing by while missing the things we want to have. We sacrifice the ones that stayed beside us because we immerse ourselves with sorrow waiting for the unknown. We are longing for what is to come.

What surprises will come with it? We do not know, yet we want to explore the possibilities. The unknown calls us with an aura of mystery. We hope it is as good as the old times.

We do not value the present; we already possess it. It is just not as impressive as we envisioned the future or remembered the past. This thought happens when the time has taken away the endless possibilities we had in our younger days.

Oh! Time. A traitor that left us short of completing our ambitions. If I only knew then, I will have savored each moment of each day just like when I was little and did not count the days.

Are you a straight Shooter?

A straight shooter has a variety of definitions (from Your Dictionary): 

1. A person who is honest and forthright.

2. (Idiomatic) A person who is blunt, sometimes to the point of being harsh or offensive.

3. (Informal, recreational drugs) A type of pipe used for smoking cocaine.

I will be Leaving the last definition out of this discussion. I will go straight to the point I want to explore this beautiful autumn day. That is how I like it; it is my trait to be direct when I am conversing with clients, family, and friends.

I never understood why people shy away from speaking the truth. I always thought of myself as a sincere person until someone called me “blunt.” I do not remember been offensive. I just pointed out the lack of responsibility and commitment she had to perform her job. I was her manager; it was my responsibility to ensure things run well. People get defensive; that’s how people defend themselves when they know they are wrong. I admit to having little tolerance for irresponsibility and laziness. There is not only a hand full of excuses to perform poorly in your job.

I understand what it is to hurt physically and emotionally. I didn’t use that as an excuse to perform poorly at my job. I could not do the everyday chores of a housewife or a mother after my stepfather died and I had a crisis for a year. I weighed less than a hundred pounds and was unable to understand life due to my sadness. Being alive turned harder for a while. I endured it without medication and never lost hope. I prayed every morning while pulling weeds off the flower garden. I asked God to have mercy for my kids and me. Speaking about my feelings is something that comes to me quickly. I hope my story may bring hope to someone in the same situation.

I do not hesitate to open-up about subject’s others consider “taboo.” Of course, I do not tell ALL! In life and business, I explain the pros and cons of any situation. If you choose the path of sugar-coating the truth, the results will be bitter, and it will come back to haunt you.
My clients will hear my opinions and recommendations as they ask questions during a transaction. The last decision is their prerogative, and that is fine. It is their investment they will call home until the time comes for them to sell it.

You see! It is important to tell your clients all the details during a transaction or explain those important details to them when they are ready to sell that house again. You better pray they will receive them, or you will be in a sea of trouble. Been open and honest may not make you famous with some, but it will win you respect and recommendations to their personal friends.

These are the exact steps you follow to build your business and get to sleep with no regrets.

YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE

When life throws you down and you don’t know where to go, remember there is a reason and let the pain go. You are destined to follow new steps every day, even if the road is rocky and your shoes are giving up.

Don’t feel despair and unfit, not knowing from whom you came to be. It’s only a reason to make you stronger and help you to succeed. Dig deep in your soul and find your worth.

You are created with a purpose unknown to those whom God had chosen to be your earthly parents. They don’t have to stay together or have the same name. They were just the vessel that carried you to this world.

Life could be depending on your willingness to exercise your calling. Find the reason for those you face every day. They are waiting for a word of encouragement, timely advice, and the love that was negated to them.

You may be the only face of God they see in this world. Make your presence be felt and remember you are not a mistake. He created you for a purpose and you are perfect just the way you are to accomplished it!