MY BOYS

A wealth of emotions rolls down my cheeks when the pictures of when you were children I have in front of me. Where did the time go? I miss having you close every day. How I regret not frozen your childhood. I would like to have your faces in my hands and your tender glances anchor in my soul.

The photo album keeps the experiences and memories of you, my greatest treasure. I often spend time flipping through the pages full of pictures proving that you were once beautiful children. Now you turned into men, you followed your dreams, and reached great goals.

I see on those pictures the moments when you were playing and laughing together while running in the courtyard of the house that we remember and long for. We still pass the street in front of it and although it is from afar it reminds us of the happy moments we lived there. The swing, the flowers, and the neighbors remained as witnesses of the family separated by fate. They were happy times that will live forever in our minds.

It pains me to accept that also due to yesterday’s circumstances your smiles changed to tears and the pain at some point made prisoner your tender hearts. We have lived many experiences, I regret that not all were of joy, children of my heart. Despite everything, do not forget the years when you grew up united in the love of brothers that is the foundation of your relationship. That love will help you to bear the onslaught of life with courage. Stay close to each other so that the memories your built now be beautiful in the future.

Please know that if I ever lacked patience, I assure you that I never lacked love. Although by making mistakes, I wanted to carve out a future where I could supply all your needs and give you an example of survival. Today I see my efforts in your talents, in your successes, and in the love with which you treat my beloved grandchildren. Maybe there was no other option, I thought that I chose the best when I was trying to develop my talents.

Even so, how it hurts me not having the good sense to have tied your childhood with my hands. If I could go back, I would collect your smiles in my arms. I am immensely proud to be the mother of two exemplary men who carved out a profitable future for themselves.

You, the oldest, were an example that the youngest could follow. You made the law your friend and you dressed well the blue uniform for the city and the county. In the American Army, the Navy, and the Air Force are records of your service of excellence. Although you were also naughty when you were little, you turned your brother upside down to make him laugh. You gave your father and me a big scare.

Of you my youngest I remember when you made us all laugh with your grimaces while they cut your hair. We are equally proud that you have gone down the path of obeying the law and enforcing it. I cannot believe my eyes when I see you arriving in your patrol car. Both are amazing examples of achievement despite life’s challenges. I will not brag about all the other talents and accomplishments you have made; I do not want to sound vain.

One day, when life allows you to reach my age you will understand these reflections and the hidden intention. I leave on these sentences what I keep in my heart with love and many times with pain. I started at an early age and if it were not for my parents who knows what destiny we would have faced.

Your grandmother, my mother, was a crucial part when you were little, she knew the time would pass and that children do not stay small. Your grandfather dedicated himself to care for you with love. He treasured the affection from the grandchildren he inherited by marriage.

It still fills me with joy to hear your voices, read your messages, and sit with you at the table. You will always be the best of me, my pride, my success, and my greatest achievement.

Are you a late bloomer?

“The most beautiful thing is that despite the shallow life we sometimes succumb to – the soul has no timeline and it knows what it wants and will yearn within until it seeks the journey”

― Malebo Sephodi

Last spring, my husband and I went to the hardware store and purchased two similar plants. He picked the one full of life, blooming to its capacity with lots of tiny blue flowers. Mine was smaller and blooming small pink flowers and had many buds, so far nothing out of the ordinary.  Except that this year mine was alive, his was dead. They were gone forever! How has it happened? They are perennial plants, after all.
 
It is amazing how we find an analogy in the simplest things of nature. Yesterday as I was washing my car yesterday and regretting it because the sun was intense, the empty garden pot reminded me of late bloomers.
 
According to the urban dictionary, late bloomers are people who experience a delayed heyday in their 20’s and or 30’s, when they finally have the factors (social and or job status, money, body, looks, etc.). You must love how the urban dictionary definitions.
 
Well, that rings a bell. Too close to home for me to like it, but I must accept it. I am a late bloomer. It was a summer in 1999 when I made the best career decision and the one that changed my life. It gave me social recognition and financial freedom. I was 36 years old when I started my 21-year career in Real Estate. Late bloomer was an understatement.
 
I had been busy raising my kids and worked in different jobs, but nothing of significance, although I have four years of college under my belt. I had a late start, but I made it count and, that is a win.
 
I was not fluent in English and, my friends were Spanish speaking. I could not find my way around the city. My patience was running low. What made the difference for me? I was determined and had the tools I needed at my disposition. Do not be afraid to use those tools as you venture out to a new interest. Those tools could be a supportive husband, a willing co-worker ready to teach you the ropes. The help of your mom looking after the kids. It can be anything. Remember to let them know how grateful you are.


Late bloomers have the advantage of experience, endurance, and desire to prove we can. I made sure never to fail a test, studying hard. I had something to prove to my peers and myself. Needless is to say that none of my peers are in Real Estate. Do not let little circumstances like language barriers or a limited sense of direction get in your way. People around you want to help you. They may be just a few, that is not important. What is crucial is that you are not alone. Many of us have done it and succeed at it.
 
Another example happened in 2016 when a friend invited me to a gathering. She was teaching acrylic painting. I was beyond myself; never would I have dreamed of learning how to paint. I started following artists on YouTube and made friends with some. They are part of those tools you need to grab ahold of it. They love teaching. You can support them as you learn. Lately, I started writing about my life with a writer friend. So far, I wrote two books. Did I tell you I am now in my late 50’s? Well, there you go. Late bloomers have no time to waste. We make our efforts count. Now I want to share my experiences and started this blog. How about all these accomplishments for a late bloomer?
 
I do not know where you are in life, but I want to encourage you to start. I used to say, “if you don’t start, you will n.” It is not deep, but I applied this principle to my life daily. At the time, it was about picking up debris from the yard or cutting the grass, but now, that phrase proved to be true in all the areas I am exploring. Even in the curiosity of why beautifully blooming plants die and those looking weak survive and thrive.