My Time is Valuable!

What is mankind that you are mindful of them!

I recently had a conversation with someone close to me about the fear of feeling happy. The way this individual described it was a lack of a right to peace and a life free of trouble.

The person said, “I didn’t feel entitled,” “ I was afraid that if I did, tragedy would strike.” As I’m flying 16,533 feet above the ground, that anxiety is a clear picture of that description.

I experienced anxiety throughout my whole life but never realized that description applied to me until now; as I look through the airplane window (a little afraid and glancing at the app to see the time left on the flight) that I suffer from the same fear.

This realization brought to my mind Psalm 8. Is expected to think about the Lord at any time but especially when we need him the most. He is a present help in time of trouble. He reminds me that although we see ourselves as insignificant, He had thought of us all along.

We are important to Him, and we are entitled not to happiness but a forever lasting joy if we love and obey him. He loves and protects us even when life is complex and uncertain. In His wings, we are safe!

Psalm 8

Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name(A) in all the earth!

You have set your glory(B)
    in the heavens.(C)
Through the praise of children and infants
    you have established a stronghold(D)against your enemies,
    to silence the foe(E) and the avenger.
When I consider your heavens,(F)
    the work of your fingers,(G)
the moon and the stars,(H)
    which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?[c](I)

You have made them[d] a little lower than the angels[e](J)
    and crowned them[f] with glory and honor.(K)
You made them rulers(L) over the works of your hands;(M)
    you put everything under their[g] feet:(N)
all flocks and herds,(O)
    and the animals of the wild,(P)
the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,(Q)
    all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Are you a Phoenix or a Pile of Ash?

To come out alive from the rubble of life is not as easy as it may sound. Some will talk about it, claim it or post about the feelings of pride and gratefulness for resurfacing from a life of struggle and pain.

The part we like to omit, the meat of the story is often too painful, too shameful, or so recent that it’s better to leave it alone. Not many want to reflect on the wounds that made them who they are today.

Those can get infected and cause us to relive the torment of the dark days we all want to pretend never happened. The truth is those dark times, just like the good ones, will always be present. We can’t avoid them forever.

Not-so-good days are often followed by beautiful ones. It’s all about how you overcome those challenging days that make you wiser and more robust. The fact is that we are the best reflection of ourselves as we move forward despite the many challenges.

Let’s us be like these the Phoenix and, at all cost, leave the Pile of Ash behind.


It goes against all reasons, standards, and logic; nevertheless, our heart rises at the thought of it.

It’s impossible; it will not last; it’s just a dream on a vivid imagination. Nevertheless, it is what our heart desires.

It’s too far, too complicated, too unknown to our little sense of adventure. Nevertheless, we travel with our thoughts to distant places away from our comfort, if only in the night dreams.

We waited for the time to be right; wars and rumors of wars spread quickly; nevertheless, we bargain with the Lord to open the doors.

The doors didn’t open, and it was so long ago; nevertheless, we can’t give up. It feels closer than over a decade ago.

We struggle with giving up, and we tried, we fail, we talk, reason against it, but nevertheless something inside us doesn’t let us give up HOPE!

Tears of Joy Flowed

A familiar scene in my bedroom (don’t get ahead of yourselves) are tears of joy for contestants participating in various shows. My me-time happens in the evening hours after a long day at the office. I like to watch tv for a few hours in the solitude of my spare bedroom. I relax while enjoying shows like American Got Talent, American Idol, or anything that has to do with competing. I am a 5’3″ fireball with more desires than strength, with more dreams than reach, and with more hopes to accomplish diverse projects than the time I have left in this world.

I’m the one that’s cheering for the underdog, the one with life-like stories. The ones that come from where it looked impossible to get anywhere. Some are insecure, unsure, unqualified, petrified, but they made it to the stage. They defy the lack, distance, language barrier, and who can deny it the draw of the straw. Many didn’t have any support, funds, or someone to travel with them and see them perform. They amaze us and amaze themselves with the audience response while I tear up. That’s how I show my support!

(Full Disclosure) This infatuation started in 1989. I traveled to the US and got introduced to daytime shows while caring for my oldest son and newborn. On a cold December, my family and I arrived in San Angelo, Texas. I didn’t have a car, friends, or dominion of the English language. Daytime shows and Ice-cream floats help me adapt to the new environment o, so I thought.

I enter into a deep postpartum depression that culminated with Hypothyroidism (or vice versa), not easily diagnosed by the doctors. I had a large egg size ball on the side of my neck, and even after many blood tests, contrast x-ray images, and many doctors squeezing it, followed by me screaming of pain, they could not determine what was wrong with me.

I lost lots of weight. I was less than a hundred pounds when we finally got the diagnose. Soon after that, I traveled back home with my two kids, one nine years old, the other one now six months. My father told me, confident, you are home now. You will be good in no time. I took some anti-depressive medicine for a short while and got back to normal in no time. It has been a while, and it never happened again, but the taste for watching people competing for anything never left me.

Like Don Quijote and Sancho Panza

I find people willing to help others extraordinarily. A servant’s heart is to be desired. Many will recognize your efforts in making their dream come true; others may not. That’s perfectly okay, God in due time, will bless you with the opportunities and resources to expand your influence and fulfill your dreams.

Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Encuentro personas extraordinarias dispuestas a ayudar a otros. El corazón de un siervo debe ser deseo. Muchos reconocerán sus esfuerzos para hacer realidad su sueño; otros pueden no hacerlo. Eso está perfectamente bien, Dios a su debido tiempo te bendecirá con las oportunidades y los recursos para expandir tu influencia y cumplir tus sueños.

Lucas 6:38
Den, y se les dará: se les echará en el regazo una medida llena, apretada, sacudida y desbordante. Porque con la medida que midan a otros, se les medirá a ustedes.

You feel better if you share it!

It’s proven time and time again that finding common ground helps to strengthen different kinds of relationships. While many focus on hiding the ugly face of facts, others find common ground while sharing life’s reality. Whether it is out of shame or survivorship, we all have a gap in our story. It’s a dark hole impossible to fill with all the happy memories. Sharing personal experiences with the wrong crowd can be catastrophic, but finding somebody who can listen and relate to us is a blessing. I hope you find a particular person that allows you to be open and honest without hurting you further in the process.

Se ha demostrado una y otra vez que encontrar puntos en común ayuda a diferentes tipos de relaciones a ser más  solidas. Mientras que muchos se centran en ocultar la cara fea de los hechos, otros encuentran puntos en común mientras comparten la realidad de la vida. Ya sea por vergüenza o por supervivencia, todos tenemos una brecha en nuestra historia. Es un agujero oscuro imposible de llenar con todos los recuerdos felices. Compartir experiencias personales con la gente equivocada puede ser catastrófico, pero encontrar a alguien que pueda escucharnos y relacionarse con nosotros es una bendición. Espero que encuentres a una persona en particular que te permita ser abierto y honesto sin lastimarte más en el proceso.