Good friends don’t tell your story to others; they are gatekeepers to your heart. No one will bribe or persuade them to stab you in the back. They have fiercely defended your honor with all they can. Respect their trust, loyalty and return the favor. If you are ever in their position regarding their secrets, remember to zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket, just like they have done it for you in the past.
How sad is having a lack of confidence? It makes us vulnerable to ill-intentioned people. I understand many of us to have reasons to feel less than, but know this: “YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU WILL SUCCEED, YOU ARE EQUIPPED, PREPARED, AND ABlE TO CONQUER YOUR FEARS.” Receive it!
When life throws you down and you don’t know where to go, remember there is a reason and let the pain go. You are destined to follow new steps every day, even if the road is rocky and your shoes are giving up.
Don’t feel despair and unfit, not knowing from whom you came to be. It’s only a reason to make you stronger and help you to succeed. Dig deep in your soul and find your worth.
You are created with a purpose unknown to those whom God had chosen to be your earthly parents. They don’t have to stay together or have the same name. They were just the vessel that carried you to this world.
Life could be depending on your willingness to exercise your calling. Find the reason for those you face every day. They are waiting for a word of encouragement, timely advice, and the love that was negated to them.
You may be the only face of God they see in this world. Make your presence be felt and remember you are not a mistake. He created you for a purpose and you are perfect just the way you are to accomplished it!
Although this letter is for you, mom, I cannot start without first thanking God for his love and favor. Choosing the womb of a beautiful and exceptional woman like you to be my mother is proof of how important I am for him from the beginning of my life.
You are not only physically beautiful; you have a heart that is full of love and compassion for others. I consider you a strong and decisive woman. Your strength helped us not to crumble in times of adversity. Life was full of complications and you were our rock.
Your journey started early in life and like many of us, you had your share of mishaps. One thing is certain, you did not give up. You did the best you could with the limited resources you possessed in your early twenties. It pains me to know all you went through. I remember the times I saw you working hard and looked tired. You had the responsibility of a family that you inherited by marriage, along with my brother and me. You were almost a child yourself. Not only you managed to keep the house clean, dinner ready for us and the farmworkers. You made sure we stayed well dressed, wore shoes while playing. You did not want us to get hurt (well, many of us did anyway). They may be little things and, what is expected of a mother, some will take it for granted. That is sad. We were privileged that you stayed and did not leave us. It was too much and too hard.
I remember how you regretted early decisions before you and I joined this family. Oh, you cried so hard! There was some controversy when you arrived. You and my new dad stayed together for over thirty years before he went to heaven. That is testimony to all the ones that doubted your capacity to sustain this home. I admire your strength and commitment. I praise you for never getting bitter, and for cultivating a sincere friendship with the neighbors we grew up to love so much. I never heard you complaining or spreading rumors. I am so proud of being your daughter.
We had so many memories from childhood to today. Yes, I am blessed to still have you in my life. At 82, you are a beautiful, clear-minded, strong will, always looking sharp and keeping your home clean and neat as you always did.
Among the things we reminisce sometimes are the trips to town, and your negotiations with the store clerk, it was so funny. I may or may not had mastered that art. I must laugh now!
The teatime was our personal ritual. I miss it every night now that you are living in another part of the country. I share this ritual with my granddaughter, and I hope she gets to share it with her own daughter one day. It provokes my pleasure to also call you when I am drinking coffee and listening to you moving in a hurry to make you a cup. There are things we can still share despite the distance.
Thanks for helping me raise my older son when I was so young to know what I was doing, and I was alone. I got the opportunity to enroll in college because you stopped working to attend to the baby’s needs. You also came running to my aid on multiple occasions when I needed you the most. I will never forget that mother.
My kids grew up with you by their side, they are as blessed as me. They turned out great. I know I owe you part of their success too. They also love and appreciate you. Through you, they learned what is to be a warrior and conquer a position in life. They manage to have a great career and own kids. The oldest one just retired. I know they make you proud. We succeeded in life because we have an example in you. You never back down although life treated you rough at times.
There is so much I can say but, for sake of time, I will mention one more thing. I still have the gold cross, a symbol of the faith we share and the Lord we serve. I remember listening to this song live while we were in Puerto Rico. I will post the link here for others to listen.
I love you mom, thank you for everything you have done for us. I pray everyone can recognize and appreciate all your efforts and forgive you for the mistakes and some decisions you made along the way. You had no help; you had no experience and more important you did not have another choice. We do not have the right to judge you, we all had made plenty of mistakes ourselves.
All is in God’s ordained. We must plow our own destiny sometimes with limited resources as it happened to you. You are forgiven, He cleans your sleight, you are a new creature, made in His image. He loves you so much, he has preserved your life so you can be complete, happy, accomplished, loved, treasured, and supported. You planted the seed and now you can harvest the fruits of your labor. He provides for all your needs and wants. I bless you with a long, and healthy life for years to come. I love you, mom. ❤️
“Don’t stay down for too long, get up and conquer”
It has been a while since we talked but I have not forgotten about you. Life is so busy these days, you know. I do not have time to play like you used to, but I often remember those days we spent together.
In my memory the little girl has a special place. She has never been a way for a long of time. The stripe polo shirt, the shorts, and long socks almost to her knees is the image that I cannot seem to erase. Short hair, bangs decorating the forehead. Why is this image so vivid in my memory? I try to dig deep in the memory bank, but I cannot seem to locate the missing file.
I still ask lots of questions even when I know the answers to may of them. It helps me to be accurate and not arrogant. I know you had a hard time with that. You were not trying to sound disrespectful, it was your eagerness to participate in the conversation. They could not understand you and you were too young to tame yourself. It is okay. It paid dividends at the end.
You were so little, pure hearted, full of hope, dreams, and desires. Smart girl, always wanting to learn about life, politics, religion, arts, and crafts. I remember you did not have the same interest for cooking or cleaning the house. Those were mere tasks that do not feed the heart, too easy to accomplish and nothing more than that. Do not worry, I am a great cook. I learned to wash and iron clothes. It came to me amazingly fast. I am still a fast learner just like you were through all your school years. It is a great advantage, that skill stayed with me through life. Do you know that I also learned a lot about politics and religion, and now dabble in the arts? Of course, you know, because we are still close at heart.
I have many different memories of you around that time and age. Some are happy memories of you running around in the farm. Getting attacked by ants while crossing the neighbor’s fence or falling on a cow drop playing tap. I wonder if that sad memory is the one that made that time unforgettable. It is too sad to share, much less to say it out loud or give it life writing it down. We know. It is our secret.
I love the little you in my mind. Through you I learned to accept others as they are. I do not want them to experience the same rejection you had to endure. I am glad it made the strong and careering woman that I am today. Thank you for enduring the pain, the sadness, and the trials you went through, little angel. You know, God was there with you! Do you remember Him talking to you through the wind and the movement of the leaves that day at the creek? It was Him; I know because he still talks to me the same way he did to you.
Stay here, in my memory. The journey will one day come to an end. We will travel together and will never be apart again. All the sad memories will be vanished once and for all. We will enjoy a life that we could never dare to imagine when you were little. I stay in hope and through perseverance conquer most of all my insecurities. Some of them remain. It is okay. They keep me humble. I am happy with my kids and their offsprings. Life turned out better than you could imagine when we were little.
Goodbye for now. I will write to you gain.
La pregunta es, ¿qué nos mueve a vivir una vida de espera? O mejor aún, ¿qué te mueve a vivir una vida de espera? Esperar no tiene nada malo si sabes esperar con la paz y el dominio propio que se requiere. Quizás puedas compartir conmigo aquello que te mantiene esperando o qué se te ha cumplido. Mientras, te voy a contar algunas cosas por las que esperé, no las compartiré todas, porque no terminaríamos en esta pequeña entrada de hoy. Quizás pueda expandir este tema contigo más adelante.
Mi espera no comenzó en mis años de niña, aunque siempre había cosas por las que esperar. Los juguetes que pedimos con la esperanza que Santa Claus o los Reyes no se olviden son ejemplos de la espera de los corazones inocentes que no viven con la gravedad de las responsabilidades que experimentamos los adultos. Era una adolescente cuando comencé a sentir que el tiempo corría rápidamente y yo no podía sostener el paso. Tenía unos 17 años cuando sentí por vez primera la gravedad de tener un trabajo estable que me ayudara a sufragar los gastos cotidianos y me proveyera la oportunidad de tener mi propio apartamento. Las razones para esa época eran muy válidas pese a la edad y es la historia de mi primer libro.
Estudié técnica de electrónica digital y comencé a trabajar en una fábrica que reparaba productos electrónicos. A veces no sabemos lo que deseamos hasta que te encuentras con el deseo cumplido. Este es un gran ejemplo. Solo siete meses después esperaba que me llegara la oportunidad de salir de ese horrible trabajo que me mantenía encerrada en un edificio todo el día. Lastimándome la espalda me reporté a la Agencia del Fondo del Seguro del Estado. Lo de Estado no lo entiendo porque soy puertorriqueña, la estadidad está por verse. Bueno, no entremos en política o este tema de la espera se convertirá en un sal pa’ fuera. Sin encontrar mejoría a la condición que me afectaba en esa época me mantuve dos largos y tristes años en la casa de mis padres. Ingresé a la Universidad de Puerto Rico, pero no podía cargar mis libros, así que desistí por un poco más de tiempo. No hay espera más lenta que el esperar para mejorar tu salud. Puedo decirlo con autoridad porque he experimentado esta espera varias veces. La impaciencia te conduce al agotamiento físico y emocional, lo que puede preceder a una enfermedad. De la impaciencia puede surgir la irritabilidad, la depresión y desequilibrio en la presión arterial. La gratificación instantánea es un mal de nuestra sociedad, esa no nos enseña a mantener los retos que nos hemos trazado con estabilidad emocional.
Esperar, desear y luchar por lo que quieres es válido. Yo sigo esperando por cosas nuevas cada día. Lo importante es no desesperarte porque ahí está la clave que te mantendrá en calma y con la mente clara. Tomamos decisiones basadas en la razón de la última espera que libramos y en ocasiones esas decisiones no son las más acertadas. No dejes que la impaciencia, la desidia o el aburrimiento corrompa tu entendimiento. Recuerda que ser paciente es una virtud que podrás cultivar solo con la espera. Poder saborear lo que conseguiste pacientemente es una señal de victoria. Muestra que dominas tu carácter y tu proceder. Es una señal de madurez emocional que te ayudará a tu salud física. Demuestra que eres valiente y enfrentas los obstáculos con la calma y la inteligencia que requieren.
No dejes de esperar por lo que quieres, por lo que amas y te apasiona. Tener sueños, metas y deseos de conquistar nuevos retos te mantienen con ganas de vivir y te hacen feliz. Esto lo sé muy bien. Apenas después de una larga vida de espera y triunfos yo comencé a escribir, era mi sueño, y ahora es una realidad. Eclesiastés 3: 1-15