To come out alive from the rubble of life is not as easy as it may sound. Some will talk about it, claim it or post about the feelings of pride and gratefulness for resurfacing from a life of struggle and pain.
The part we like to omit, the meat of the story is often too painful, too shameful, or so recent that it’s better to leave it alone. Not many want to reflect on the wounds that made them who they are today.
Those can get infected and cause us to relive the torment of the dark days we all want to pretend never happened. The truth is those dark times, just like the good ones, will always be present. We can’t avoid them forever.
Not-so-good days are often followed by beautiful ones. It’s all about how you overcome those challenging days that make you wiser and more robust. The fact is that we are the best reflection of ourselves as we move forward despite the many challenges.
Let’s us be like these the Phoenix and, at all cost, leave the Pile of Ash behind.
I find myself reflecting on life’s shortcomings. Many people, like me, have a dream of a perfect family relationship, excellent work, and a great church environment. Ideals that are only living in the mind of a dreamer. Life, on the other hand, is a series of ups and downs.
It took me a long time to realize that it would never be a consistent as I wanted. I can thank my husband for pointing it out many times before I accepted. I am a fixer. I like situations to work out for the best. Not being able to reach a mutual understanding caused me a lot of anxiety.
I can talk things through, expose my reasons and accept defeat when proven wrong. That’s not the case for other people. As a Real Estate Agent, I have learned to prove my points by showing my clients proof of my assessments and recommendations. I want not only to tell people what but also why.
Relationships are a lot of work and will not grow unless everyone makes an effort. I’m growing older, and lately, I have given up on having perfect relationships. It is what it is; life is full of conflicts you can’t solve. The messy bits in between the good times add flavor to an otherwise stagnant and boring life.
The messy bits also allow you to learn about yourself and grow in knowledge and lots of patience. I have learned so much about myself in the last few years, just letting the dark times of life be what they are: a time to reflect on the reasons behind the situations and accepting that some will never be better. We all see things in different lights; let others’ light shine through as well.
Our dreams are not everyone’s dreams, and finally, to each their own. Oh, how liberating it is to allow everyone to do as they want, need, or desire just because they are entitled to do as they feel. Letting them go through the process will allow them to better prepare for life.
You can’t help everyone, and some will not let you anyway, no matter how much experience you have. I have learned to embrace the messy bits and wait patiently for the glorious light that comes after the teaching moments.
Social Media can be a devastating destination for many who will encounter the wrong information. Sinister “friends,” or aggressive and opinionated people can cause your more headache than you need. Everyone has a view on life. The experiences you encounter while growing up, your influencers, and acquaintances help you develop the glass color lens to see the world. Since I was young, I had a strong opinion about many things. I probably didn’t have a firm conviction; what was important is that I thought I was right. Wow! Was I ever so wrong?
I had no issues expressing myself; my opinions always found a way to escape my young and immature mind to whoever wanted to hear. This quality of mine made me unpopular. I didn’t realize how wrong I was until recently. I was wrong not on all my views but in wanting people to see things my way. We all validate what we know as we see fit.
We all have a personal agenda. We may be seeking profit, an influential platform, or just for the simple fact that we want to be correct. Whichever your motive, it should never be a standard to enter in your circle. I realize through social media how animate we are about proving others wrong. It’s okay. Even the internet opinionated people are part of the life process.
We are in the sharing information era through multiple platforms. Today I found a post that had nothing to do with promoting any position about life. This post was about living life with anxiety. I guess the internet is also a way to cry aloud in the hope of sympathy or support. Nothing wrong with needing a word of affirmation. Good comments in a time of crisis could help more than we will ever know.
This person is my client, and although I wanted to say something about how I have lived with anxiety and panic since I was very young, I didn’t! See, I’m older now, and after realizing how part of my anxiety has to do with rejection, I opted to stay away from the subject. I don’t want some ill-intentioned person to say something to hurt me directly.
Nevertheless, here is this post in case it reaches someone, somewhere, someday. I live with anxiety every day of my life since I can remember. I used to pass out every time the nurse draw blood or the dentist injected the anesthesia. I pass out because I didn’t want the food at the public school or because I have a prolonged stomachache. As an adult, I can ride with someone in the car; I must drive. I still have anxiety when I go, but it is easier for me to cope.
Many years ago, I hated to fly, but I did. I never thought about cruising, but I just came from my fourteen cruises, and I will go back in December. I forced myself to succeed in business and my personal life. I understand now that I was probably too opinionated, too strong on my views, altogether too strong, but that strength has carried me here. Being assertive is not wrong. Allocating your strong opinions, whether you are right or not, without wisdom is.
I’m now quieter, more a thinker. I live my life and see the world from a different color lens. I hope I’m not late to mend the fences I took down along the way. I didn’t mean to prevail; I thought I was right and wanted to help. I wanted to be a part of your life and see you move forward. Despite my flaws, I wanted to see you soar. I’m sorry!
It’s proven time and time again that finding common ground helps to strengthen different kinds of relationships. While many focus on hiding the ugly face of facts, others find common ground while sharing life’s reality. Whether it is out of shame or survivorship, we all have a gap in our story. It’s a dark hole impossible to fill with all the happy memories. Sharing personal experiences with the wrong crowd can be catastrophic, but finding somebody who can listen and relate to us is a blessing. I hope you find a particular person that allows you to be open and honest without hurting you further in the process.
Se ha demostrado una y otra vez que encontrar puntos en común ayuda a diferentes tipos de relaciones a ser más solidas. Mientras que muchos se centran en ocultar la cara fea de los hechos, otros encuentran puntos en común mientras comparten la realidad de la vida. Ya sea por vergüenza o por supervivencia, todos tenemos una brecha en nuestra historia. Es un agujero oscuro imposible de llenar con todos los recuerdos felices. Compartir experiencias personales con la gente equivocada puede ser catastrófico, pero encontrar a alguien que pueda escucharnos y relacionarse con nosotros es una bendición. Espero que encuentres a una persona en particular que te permita ser abierto y honesto sin lastimarte más en el proceso.
Negative feelings can invade the way you treat your fellow man. It is a slippery slope that will change your values and compromise your integrity.
Once you begin to jeopardize ethics in your personal and business life, the result could be the loss of a positive public image, which will affect your ability to expand your business or promotions in the labor sector.
Who knows if the consequences could lead you to lose your freedom. Don't compromise your values for a handful of dollars!
Los sentimientos negativos pueden invadir la forma en que tratas a tu prójimo. Es una pendiente resbaladiza que cambiará tus valores y comprometerá tu integridad.
Una vez que comience a poner en peligro la ética en tu vida personal y empresarial, el resultado podría ser la pérdida de una imagen pública positiva, esto afectará tu capacidad para expandir negocios personales o promociones en el sector laboral.
¡Quién sabe si las consecuencias podrían llevarte a perder la libertad. ¡No comprometas tus valores por unos puñado de dólares!
We can be guilty of hurting innocent people when we make them the target of our anger.
I was recently discussing this issue with a young mother in my family. I told her that youth brings with it the energy to engage in unnecessary rivalry and hatred.
Maybe, is the hormones in an uproar; who knows. In short, it won’t be until very late in life that they will realize how ridiculous it is to keep the flame of discord alive.
In the meantime, we are the targets of their ignorant confrontations that lack any shred of evidence about the reason to be mad.
May God help us because, with these conflicts, we affect not only the adults in our family but also innocent children.
Podemos ser culpables de herir a personas inocentes cuando las convertimos en el objeto de nuestra ira. Recientemente estuve discutiendo este tema con una joven madre de mi familia. Le dije que la juventud trae consigo la energía para participar en una rivalidad y odios innecesarios.
Tal vez, las hormonas están alborotadas; quién sabe. En resumen, no será hasta muy tarde en la vida que se darán cuenta de lo ridículo que es mantener viva la llama de la discordia.
Mientras tanto, somos el objeto de sus confrontaciones ignorantes que carecen de cualquier prueba sobre la razón para estar enojados.
Que Dios nos ayude porque, con estos conflictos, afectamos no solo a los adultos de nuestra familia sino también a niños inocentes.
We all have things that could be considered a handicap or obstacle to succeed in what we want to pursue. How do you conquer yours? Mine was a language barrier, low self-esteem, and feelings of rejection. I didn’t feel like I could measure up or be accepted. These are childhood traumas that had been hard to overcome. Today I am a top producer. My clientele is based on the fact that I speak another language. The very reason I thought it would be impossible to succeed.